Drew was turning off the TV just as I was waking from my nap on the couch late last night — and that’s when I saw it. Well, some of it. Was it a dream? No, I think Drew saw it too but it meant nothing to him. I started screaming, “Wait, I need to see . . .” Oops, too late, TV off.
So I did what I always do, I googled it. Here is an excerpt from the Amazon Kindle commercial: She says, “But you can’t fold down a page when you want to save your place.” He says, “My kindle does that for me.” “But you don’t get the rewarding feeling of actually folding down a page,” says she.
Didn’t Carol mention how she missed folding down pages. I don’t like to fold down pages and luckily for all my books, I have lots of concert ticket stubs around the house to mark any pages I might want to refer back to. But what I really do is note the page number and put it safely away somewhere in my brain to be retrieved when called upon. Unfortunately, my brain is a little congested with bits of facts and dates, things to remember, and things to do right now. I have been diagnosed with Acute Clutter Brain (ACB).
MedicineNet.com defines acute as an illness that is of short duration, rapidly progressive, and in need of urgent care. But that doesn’t sound right. I don’t think I am in need of urgent care and I’m not sure if this is rapidly progressive. Hmm, I just don’t remember.
You know, maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Yes, I think I know now what the doctor said! He said, “You have a cute clutter brain.” Yup, sure of it now. But regardless if it is cute or not — it is still cluttered.
Think I’ll go look online for a Border’s coupon and order myself a BOOK — Moonwalking With Einstein. It’s on my list. It will help me organize the clutter in my brain without throwing anything away. Is it still clutter if it is neatly stored away and easily retrievable?
Carol called me this afternoon. She’s reading Foreskin’s Lament and she thinks it’s hysterical. Nice, but she has a problem. Carol’s looking for a passage in the book. She said it’s hard to go back and find anything with a Kindle. “I can’t fold the page back on a Kindle and it’s hard to leaf through the pages” she says. Personally, I’m not a page folder. I use book marks or, more accurately, ticket stubs.
So Carol is looking for a passage in the book and I know exactly what she is talking about. I grab the book and leaf through it while we are on the phone. “The Kindle doesn’t have pages so I don’t know where it was but it does have percentages,” Carol says. “Well, the book is about 300 pages long . . .” I reply.
Pages — percentages — we decide the passage must be around 25 pages from the beginning. “I’ll see if I can find the passage,” I stupidly say. “Good, email it to me when you find it,” she quickly says and hangs up.
Carol has the Kindle. I have the book — so here I am, skimming, reading, over and over again. I’ve already gone through it three times. I can’t find it and it’s driving me crazy. I finished the book last week and already put it to rest in my bookcase. I was done with it — except for my daily rant, “Drew you should really read this book. I know you’ll like it. The print is big!” Damn, and now I have to leaf through it page by page and . . . ahhhhhhhh.
“You definitely have to read Bossypants by Tina Fey,” blurts Carol before hanging up. I think I will. But I won’t tell her I bought the book!!!!!
This morning my honey and I had a conversation. It started with a question from me to Drew: “How does this whole Kindle, Nook thing work? Can you buy a book for the Kindle and read it on a Nook?”
“I have a Droid with Nook software. You can download. . . . .” A half hour later, my head spinning, I lovingly interrupted Drew and said probably the only thing that would get him to pay attention and stop chatting: “Are you ready for breakfast? Do you want eggs?”
If the conversation were reversed and Drew asked me the Nook/Kindle question — which would never happen — I would respond in one of three ways: a.) yes, b.) no, c.) not sure. Simple and to the point. Maybe not enough information for some people but it would work for me.
So, anyway, the mention of food stopped him for the moment. I can’t hear much with the exhaust fan over the stove loudly sucking up any hint of smoke and smells. (Sometimes I turn the fan off just so the house can fill up with the aroma of home cooking — imagine baking an apple pie and having the whole neighborhood inhaling the scent while the house smells of . . . nothing!) So I tended to the eggs and toast and Drew read the paper.
But when I sat back down with my morning milkshake, Drew continued, “You know about Apple’s subscription service . . ” Me says, “Books?” He says, “No, music.”
I love him but he needs someone to talk WITH. You know, conversation — which implies two ways.
Weather report today: No surprise — We are off to the city tonight for an outdoor concert at Summerstage in Central Park — Arctic Monkeys. Not only do I get to stand for the entire concert but there is a 50% chance that I will be standing in the pouring rain. Thunderstorms predicted!