“I’m going to exercise in a bit,” says my drew. “Oh good, I’m going to write about Bank of America on my blog,” I say. “Great, bitching about anything should get your readership up,” he replies. So here it goes:
I called B of A on Monday, June 6th, in the morning. I needed a reference letter. I spent a lot of time screaming into the phone –CUSTOMER SERVICE . . . A REAL PERSON . . . and a variety of other phrases. Each time the response was the same, “In order to serve you better . . . press 1 . . .” So eventually I pressed 1 and 1 and 2, and whatever it took to get me there. Used to be in the “old days” — and when I say old days I don’t mean when you actually dialed a number and immediately spoke to a real person– I mean when you start screaming into the phone and eventually you hear, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand your selection. Please wait while I redirect you to customer service.” That doesn’t happen anymore.
Where was I . . . oh yes, I eventually get to a real person and I tell him that I need a reference letter. He, apparently, knows what I am talking about. “There will be a ten-dollar charge,” he says. “Fine, how long will this take?” I say. “The request will take 24 to 48 hours to process and then we will mail it out.”
I had just come from my local B of A branch and someone there said I can have the letter faxed over to them. So I said to my guy on the phone, “I’d like to have it faxed to my local branch.” I figured this would speed up the process. HA HA. “It’s quicker if we mail it right out.” “Okay.” We are done chatting.
I wait a week. No charge on my account yet and no reference letter in the mail. I call on Wednesday, June 15th. I pressed all the right buttons and eventually I hear a human voice on the other end. I tell the voice I am waiting for the letter and he looks it up. “Says here it was processed on June 11th.” Hmm,” I say aloud, “that’s weird, on a Saturday? I really need this letter.” “Well, you should definitely get it by the end of the week,” he says, “Call Friday and they will fax it to your branch if you don’t receive it.” (hmmm, definitely? Call if you don’t receive it? Something’s not right!)
I call Thursday around 4 pm because I realized I needed the letter on Friday and my mail comes late. The voice says, “It says here it’s still processing . . .” I tell him to fax the letter to my local branch. He starts to say something but I cut him off, “I need this letter and I want to pick it up tomorrow morning at my bank.” He gets his manager on the phone. She okays it and she wants to review everything because there is no letter to refer to. “You can pick it up at your local branch tomorrow morning. I’m going to fax it right over.”
Am I feeling confident? Not until I have that letter in my hand. I stop by the bank at 11:00 am on Friday, June 17. Nope, no fax! So I am now starting to twitch. I have the bank representative call to get the fax. She’s on hold . . . waiting, waiting, waiting. I thought she would have a direct number but no she doesn’t. I am not feeling good about this.
My bank representative tells me that the letter is being written and will Meanwhile, the mail comes and there is still no letter. I return to the bank a few hours later and pick up the letter. I go home and take another look at the letter — two checking and one savings account! No, how could that be? One savings account was listed as a checking account. I go online and look for the phone number but all I can pull up is the 800 number. Forget it, I jump in the car and drive back to the bank. The letter needs to be corrected but it needs to be faxed all over again. At least I don’t have to call the 800 number. I’ll leave that to the bank representative. So it’s Friday night and I still don’t have the letter but I spent plenty of time and gas to get it . . . all for a ten-dollar fee from Bank of America.
Hmm, what’s this in my email? An email from Bank of America saying “tell us what you think.” Got to go now. Okay, I can do that.
Tomorrow: How to Summarize .