Waxing, shaving, poking, prodding . . . there is only one other body that I can think of that probably needs more maintenance than Hannah’s — and that body belong’s to Rachel, my unicorn. Today Rachel went to a dermatologist and he gave her a cortisone shot in her unicorn horn. Yes, it is true. I think I have created a monster. A while back I told Rachel about zocdoc.com. She has MagnaCare, an insurance none of her regular doctors accept. I stumbled upon this website where you pick your specialist, your insurance, your location, and then once you pick a doctor you can make the appointment online. It works for Rachel.
But this isn’t about Rachel. It’s about Hannah. Why do I say that? I say that because I just spent the day with Hannah and from Rachel I couldn’t even get a phone call . . . a phone call to her own mother, phew! All I got was a text, “I’ve been busy sorry went to derm before got cortisone shot in my unicorn horn that’s been there for 2 months.” When I ask her to call me (because she doesn’t answer my call) she answers with a text, “Not now. Why whats up?”
I met Hannah at the train station at around 1 pm. I packed a lunch for her — ginger peanut soup and ice water. I nourish her body and then drive her to the doctor. On the way there she reached over the seat and screamed out. Paper cut. Blood everywhere and no band-aid. Short wait at the gynecologist’s office. Hannah came out with a boring tan band-aid on her finger for the paper cut. Booooring! Don’t know what went on in there. I wasn’t invited.
Are we having fun yet?
Let the fun begin. At the pediatrician’s office Hannah is given a cup to pee in. She claimed she was all cleaned out. “Sorry, but I gave at the gynecologist’s office.” Okay, so they took blood instead and plenty of it. Notice all the pretty band-aids Hannah is modelling. Lovely. Now let’s see, there is a band-aid for meningitis shot, a TB test, and 2 blood tests. Hannah was ecstatic when she heard that she was not the oldest patient at the pediatrician’s office. Try 30 years old.
Wine is making me tired. Good night.
thesommertimes 