Thank you for listening

What is this?  I’m about to take a shower but as I walk naked (sorry) to the shower I feel something following me. I turn around. It’s still there. I could feel it but it is quicker than I am. It is always behind me. I know it’s there. I feel it hitting the top of my legs. So annoying. I make my way to the full length mirror and jump in the air and get a glance at . . . my tush . . . my sagging tush. It looks like the pillows on my couch. They need to be restuffed and properly fluffed!

What do I do? Stop looking in the mirror for starters and wear underwear at all times. Suspenders might help too. If I hike up my . .  . I’m sorry this is all too much. Can’t get that sagging tush image out of my head. I think I’ll take a bonbon break now.

Did I mention my sagging eyelids? Now that is something I really am not happy about. I’m pretty sure that when I look up I see my lid instead of sky. I’ve given up on my stomach. I just don’t know what to do with all that extra stuff. I think my back and leg would feel better if I lost some weight. And then there are the straggling long hairs on my face that I only discover when I am in good light and not anywhere near tweezers.

My skin is dry. My elbows are totally chapped and the heels of my feet –fuhgeddaboutit! I can’t seem to keep any part of my body baby butt soft. My lips are chapped. My hair is gray. Damn, my eyes are itchy. And my neck . . . ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Eh, how about another bon bon?

No pictures today – – – and for that you should all be thankful!



Filed under Empty nesting, Everyday Woman, Long Island Living, Real life

2 responses to “Thank you for listening

  1. Hannah

    is this your way of getting me to stop reading your blog? xo

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