Do Squirrels Favor Salted or Unsalted Peanuts?

It’s beginning to smell a lot like squirrel — all around the house. (Sung to the tune of  . . . . oh, no, no,  just kidding!)

I have an idea. I think it will work — think positive. Washing and drying all my laundry now so I can put my plan in action. I went to CVS today and all I could find was salted peanuts in the shell. Yuk, my lips were chapping just looking at the super sized package. I couldn’t bring myself to buy it. I went into Stop and Shop and picked up a jar of Mr. Peanut’s unsalted dry roasted shelled peanuts. Next stop was Ace Hardware where I bought a package of coarse steel wool and D batteries. After that I went to Iavarone’s just because it was there. I didn’t expect to find peanuts but there they were. Roasted peanuts in the shell sold by the pound. So I bought a few.

My dryer is vented through the crawl space and out the side of the house. I originally wanted to take the vent off the outside of the house and put a trap on the outside by the opening but all I could think of were those slothy looking paw prints in the snow all around my back yard. I didn’t want anything finding its way in. So, my alternate plan is to disconnect the vent and put the trap through the cut-out so half of it is in the crawl space and the closed half is in the laundry room. I’ll leave the light on so maybe the squirrel will go towards light and think it is the way out. I’ll use my last Ritz cracker, some fresh peanut butter, and a few whole peanuts.

I think this is Plan E

Apparently this is not working as planned. The opening is way to small for the trap. I’m leaving the light on in the laundry room and I am going to light a candle and make a wish. I can’t tell you what the wish is because it won’t come true but you can guess. Let’s hope he finds the bait and goes for it. I’m so tired of writing about this and I’m sure you’re tired of reading about it. I know Carol is — she has voiced her opinion, ” . . . enough with the squirrel- i love stanley stories too but you’ve become obsessed. there are more important issues, like what happened to our painter? and where can i get carpet?”

Almost ten at night and Drew is out with the boys. I think I’ll go curl up by the front door and wait for him.


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Filed under Long Island Living, Squirrel Trouble

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